Crafting a Holiday Child Custody Parenting Plan

The holidays are a traditional time when families come together, but in a divorced parent situation, that can be a bit challenging. The common approach is to establish a holiday parenting plan between the two parents when custody is shared. It can be part of the overall child custody parenting plan agreed to in an divorce, or it can be an add-on specific to the holidays every year.

Most Times Holidays are not Just One Day

Most times, a big holiday can span more than just one day or a few hours. In these cases, a parenting plan should accommodate agreements of trading given holidays every other year so that each parent gets a solid amount of time with their child for the given holiday stretch, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Doing so with a Charles County family law attorney helps with making arrangements for custody for the year and holiday a parent has the children, and it helps avoid last minute costs trying to be in both places at once, which usually only increases the frustration that kids see and react to.

The scheduling can also be complicated by schools, especially if there are multiple children and they go to different schools with different schedules. For example, a common problem is one child being in grade school and the other in high school, with different days off, even in the same locality and school district. Again, switching off each year for the major holidays makes things easier, and it allows inclusion of the school schedule versus fighting the difference from one child to the other.

Generic Plans Don’t Cover All the Details

A Maryland parenting plan, in general, is a regular requirement with shared custody after a divorce or during the resolution of one, and ideally the plan provides for shared parenting on an equal basis. However, holidays can be tricky, bringing out emotional responses more than normal, as well as expectations of extended relatives as well. It can quickly boil over into stress and angst as well as the wrongs being said that can’t be taken back.

One of the best ways to avoid last-minute snafus, calendar changes and surprises that create conflict involves careful planning and then sticking to the holiday plan agreed to. In some cases, cooperating parents can find arrangements where everyone can come together for the kids and relatives involved, but where distance or separation is necessary, a consistent and synced plan for each holiday solves a lot of problems. Review of the same plan should be done during periods nowhere close to the holidays as well. This avoids the influence of last-minute stress that creeps up because of sudden commitments or emotions. Cooperation and flexibility tends to be at the maximum level as well during non-holiday periods.

Once the holidays do arrive, parents should do their part to stick to the agreed joint custody parenting plan and not try to change it suddenly or renege on the details. This only sets the children up in a tug of war that can quickly turn ugly right in front of them. Relatives and friends should be kept out of the discussion and planning entirely. They have no right to the discussion, much less forcing any input on either parent.

Securing Qualified Help to Solve the Holiday Snafu

A Charles County family law attorney like the Law Office of Robert Castro can help. When discussions get difficult, our experienced legal team can settle the heat of emotions and focus on crafting a plan that works for your right as a parent as well as the overall best interest of your child or children. There’s no need for your parenting and your children’s experiences on the holidays to be a battleground with an ex-spouse.

Remember, the holidays should be about family, your kids and creating a moment that adds to memories as children grow. No one wants a child to have memories of arguing and fighting at the Thanksgiving table or Christmas or being jockeyed around week after week in the summer. By working out the details with a mindset towards protecting one’s children on both sides, a very doable holiday parenting plan can be crafted that works for everyone involved. And, sometimes, even grandma gets her time in there too to give both parents a break.